Sweethearts Candy Blog's

Jakey Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway are pretty much nekkid as mole rats in that Love & Other Drugs movie, which should send a billion endorphins straight to my nipples but from what I've seen these two have the sexual chemistry of a pedophile with OCD and an elderly hoarder.

Take these covers of Entertainment Weekly for instance. I know this it supposed to make us pull our zippers down to give our good parts some air, but it's not doing anything for me. It looks like something you'd see on Awkward Family Photos. Like a brother and sister trying to reenact the Star is Born poster for their New Year's Eve party invitation.
It's like the least successful Levitra ad ever. Like a sex therapy book from the early 80s. You see where I'm coming from. And no, you don't have to gorge out your eyes with a broken off BIC pen, because where I'm coming from is not the usual place I come from. That's a shame, because the sight of Jakey's pec pubes is supposed to have that effect on me.