Sweethearts Candy Blog's

At a recent school Parents Night, the teachers passed out a child development fact sheet for kids ages 8-10 years old. For the 9-year-olds, one of the common developments was "increased anxiety about the world." Add life-threatening food allergies to the mix and you can have a recipe for one stressed-out kid.

It makes sense that as kids get older, they get more concerned about things going on in the world. After all, their understanding of the world's machinations only increases each year. I find that as my daughter has gotten older, she has gotten more anxious (at times) about her severe nut allergy. A recent hives and facial swelling scare just from being around PB&J at school as well as a restaurant "near miss" this summer has contributed to her overall concern. Hey, who can blame her?

Some of you with school age kids may be going through this too. What can we do as parents to help alleviate some of the food allergy anxiety? It's not like we can tell them that it will always be OK and nothing will happen. We don't want them to over think their condition, but we definitely want them to take responsibility for their serious allergy. It's a tricky business. Here are some strategies that have worked for us:

- Have your child be responsible for carrying the EpiPen. This gives my daughter a sense of power, because she knows she always has it with her rather than relying on the adults around her. It's also good practice for the future and it seems to make her less anxious. Obviously a 3-year-old can't carry the EpiPen but as kids get a little older you can ask them: What else do I need to bring with us today? Early reinforcement of this will help them to be responsible later on.

- Let kids take the lead. This past weekend, we went to a new candy store in town that models itself after the old-fashioned ones. You know, candy in barrels, all the candy we liked as kids, etc. Since it is all tightly wrapped and there are many safe options for us, we allow her to visit there once in awhile. Apparently, however, peanut butter-filled pretzels were lying in an open container near the cash register/counter. My daughter hates to see stuff like that but because her foods were wrapped and didn't get near the pretzels, we deemed it safe for her. It took her a couple of hours to agree with us, however. After explaining the low risk to her, I let it go. It hurt me to see her not be able to enjoy her candy right away, like her sister did--until I saw her later that day, reading a favorite book and enjoying her new candy. Lesson learned? Let your kids determine what they feel is safe enough. Don't press them. It is their allergy, after all, not ours. They need to do what they think is right.

- Reinforce safe dining out experiences. It's tempting to want to avoid restaurants due to food allergy concerns, but it's good to occasionally go to them if only to show your child that you can. Thoroughly research the restaurant and then have your child order a simple menu item. We've become regulars at a few restaurants and it really boosts my daughter's morale (well, all of ours, really) to enjoy a restaurant meal successfully and safely. Plus, becoming adept at these situations will be a lifelong skill.

Ready or not, here it comes! The school season is here or almost here and many of us find ourselves discussing our child's allergies with teachers and staff.

You will definitely want to print out this article by Linda Coss: "Attack of the Killer Peanut Butter Sandwiches" to bring along with you. It's a terrific explanation of what allergic kids (and parents) are up against at school and it takes the non-allergic point of view into account.

I'm on my way to a meeting on Monday (we begin school on Tuesday). I've been through several of these meetings already and have learned what to ask over the years. Here are a few "talking points" as you get ready to talk to the school about your child.

- Your child must carry the EpiPen at all times, to every location in the school. This is law in many states; for others you may be required to have a doctor's note. In any case, make sure that your child's teachers understand the need for an accessible EpiPen--every second counts. No locked cabinets, no "we only keep it in the health office." Explaining how a reaction works helps; a doctor's order will clinch the deal.

- Which staff members and teachers have EpiPen training? And will you use it? Asking them these questions helps identify what you may need to advocate at your school. It's been my experience that all staff are trained at our current school, but as schools all have different rules, please find out. Offer to train them or to have the nurse/health aide do a training. Make sure your child's teacher is comfortable using the EpiPen and ask what you can do to make her/him more comfortable. It's crucial.

- What are your emergency procedures? Get the exact details. You may discover that you want to revise these a bit.

- Please follow our Food Allergy Emergency Plan. Available at the FAAN website, this is the life-saving "go-to" guide if someone suspects your child is having a reaction.

- What's the "treats schedule" for the year? For example, any special holiday or event celebrations? If you can nail it down early, you'll be prepared to deliver safe treats to your child's classroom if necessary. You really don't want to be stuck making food at midnight. It makes you cranky.

- Make sure that you mark down the expiration dates for your meds--and ask if the school has a "reminder" policy for this. Many schools do, but you should be the one who really is on top of this so there are no gaps where your child is at school without their EpiPen. Just mark it down on your calendar for two weeks before it expires so you have plenty of time to get new ones.